The hardest thing about living in New York is everyone else who lives here. Just watch the hilarz new Amy Poehler–produced Hulu Original Comedy Series Difficult People for proof. For every fabulous gem you meet in this city there is an unbearable schmuck just around the corner. So how do you avoid the d-bags? We got you covered, bae.
Below is a foolproof interactive map listing the worst neighborhoods and the trolls who live there. Never again will you accidentally find yourself wading through drunk barfing bros in Murray Hill! You’re welcome.
Overall, what we’ve learned is that New York is riddled with creeps, and that your best bet for not bumping into them is by locking yourself in your apartment, ordering Chinese, and cozying up to some sweet, sweet television. Thankfully, Difficult People — starring mad genius Billy Eichner and comedy queen Julie Klausner — is now finally streaming on Hulu (woop woop!), so your new life as a hermit is about to be freaking fantastic.
Rose Surnow is a humor writer for websites and magazines such as New York Magazine, VICE, Cosmo, SELF, and more. She holds an MFA in TV Writing from USC.