Singledom can breed certain defense mechanisms. Some people fill the void with green juice and Hades yoga, while others laser-focus on their faux-glamorous, ultimately mediocre careers (see: Julie Klausner and Billy Eichner in the Amy Poehler–produced Hulu Original Difficult People).
But perhaps the most universal way to deal with loneliness is by sniffing out every happy couple within a 10-mile radius and bludgeoning them with shit relationship advice and moral judgments until they’re calling their entire existence into question. It’s a great way for bitter singles to give back to their community! And it’s, like, a thousand times easier than building a foundation of love and trust with another human being.
If you’ve been thinking about dropping your knitting circle to take up ruining other people’s dates, the video above is a great primer about how to exact justice on people who are happier than you are.
In “Save the Date,” Chloë Sevigny enthusiast Drew Droege and comedian Jordan Firstman take on the noble task of dishing out first-date advice they are in no way qualified to give. You may recognize them from “The Disgustings,” an award-winning short about two catty, cynical friends who only have eyes for each other — but in an alternate universe, they’d probably get on well with Difficult People’s jaded, struggling comedians, Julie Kessler (Julie Klausner) and Billy Epstein (Billy Eichner). If you’re on team “I Hate Me But I Hate You More,” you may have just found your people.
Julie Klausner and Billy Eichner are the petty, judgmental friends you wish you had in Difficult People. Watch it now, only on Hulu.